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Name: James
Country: United States
State: Maryland
Birthday: 5/21/1990
Gender: Male


Interests: Philosophy (as bullshit as that sounds), art, psychology
Expertise: Oh shucks, I'm not good at nothing.
Occupation: Student
Industry: Education/Research


Message: message me
AIM: MFlaim@aol.com


Member Since: 7/18/2004

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Thursday, July 31, 2008

I've been on a limerick kick lately, and though I'm worried that it'll be hard for me to think in any other form later, limericks are awesome enough to sacrifice for.

Tragic Limericks (presented in the order of their conception):


There once was a talented dancer
Who fancied herself quite the prancer
Until she stepped on a mine
Which left her chair-confined
Then she lost both her parents to cancer.

A new mother was somewhat confused
When the doctor said "I have terrible news"
But then she realized
There were no baby cries
To believe in God now, she'll refuse.

Two lovers were having a fight
Which kept them awake through the night
"You called her name during sex!"
"You're in love with your ex!"
And he knew in his heart she was right.

A knight's poor fiancé was scavenged
By raiders her body was ravaged
The knight promised justice
But was too gutless
And his lover remains unavenged.

Straightforward Sex Limericks:

A man with a 15-inch johnson
Wants to partake in activities wanton
But as you would suspect
It's never fully erect
And ladies find it more painful then awesome.

A robot malfunctioned perversely
When it claimed want to "sex up real dirty"
Could an android consent?
Show free-will through contempt?
Tech-ethicists soon discussed worriedly.





Monday, June 02, 2008

Currently Listening
Trashy Greasy Rockin' Billy'
Naughty Girls
see related
As much as I like way out-of-date, more-than-slightly macabre pop-culture references, I feel it's time for a new entry if only to not be reminded of Heath Ledger (and because it's been half a year since my last update (and in case you really like out-of-date, macabre pop-culture references, "at least Michelle Williams is free now!").
School is finally out, and I can honestly say I've never had so little remorse for leaving a place I've attended for so long. The only sadness associated with the event was the realization that I was kind of an Adult, and the thought that I had wasted my youth; concerns tempered by my usual strategy of adding 10 to my current age and proclaiming: "I'll still be young then, so I'm way young now."
In lighter news, I've re-interested myself in a set of encyclopedias from 1880. While most of the set is obnoxiously accurate (I wanted to laugh at their crazy views on the world, science, and the like! Instead, I learned a good deal about Charles Sumner (whose entry is longer than Andrew Jackson's), infanticide (which "had defenders among the likes of Aristotle and Plato!") and palindromes (far easier to make in latin, apparently)) but here are few fun facts I managed to find anyway:
The construction of a "Panama canal" would be impracticable, despite negotiations between President Grant and the country of Panama.
Influenza is caused by too much o-zone in the atmosphere.
Gonorrhea is cured by injecting silver nitrate directly into the penis.

And the illustrations are wonderful too, but I have yet to take pictures. Expect them soon. *UPDATE* The pictures have obviously been taken. To see them in non-thumbnail form, check out the "photos" link at the top left.















*edit* Special shout out to someone from Kentucky who, according to my "footprints", read just about all my xanga entries: "Heyyyyyyyy...."
*edit 2: the editing* Also, any ribald messages you may have received from me are actually from Caleb in my guise. Laughs all around.


Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Can you believe Heath Ledger died before Britney Spears?


Tuesday, January 08, 2008

       Just updating for the sake of updates (not to mislead anyone into thinking there would be something substantial on here), but I figure it's due time for news relations.
       Christmas time was well and good (I just realized I forsook the chance to use "Merry" to describe something, when it can only be used so rarely TOO LATE NOW), received 3 wonderful t-shirts depicting Dinosaur Comics' T-Rex, Tiny Tim, and a classic Married to the Sea ("I hate voting"). I surprise myself to say that the Tiny Tim one is my favorite of the bunch, mostly for how jarring any image of Tiny Tim is (and this one is particularly jarring). It features the aforementioned singer/ukeleist (I've said "Tiny Tim" 3 times now, it'd be awkward to continue with any proper noun, much less "Tiny Tim" (5 times)) mid-song, hooked nose at an angle as to allow a recoginition of it's hookedness, plaid shirt conveying a grungey, average-man senitment that is totally nonexistent, all in the starkest black-and-white possible. Sadly, though I found it great, no one else commented without my cueing (sad that I felt the need to point out my Tiny Tim shirt), and its only real reward for wearing was getting "Tiptoe Through the Tulips" and "Having a Wonderful Time" stuck in my head all day (and what a day it was!).
      And in addition to t-shirts, I also received The Communist Manifesto, which hopefully will not transform me into a non-ironic wearer of CCCP t-shirts (rather than the wearer who just likes how awesome it looks). I've only read the first few pages of Engels preface, and there are already some wonderful phrases; one of my favorites being "Parisian insurrection". Not that I find it humorous, it's just a nice combination of words. (and here's where the update promptly, awkwardly ends)


Friday, November 23, 2007

Currently Listening
I Shall Exterminate Everything Around Me That Restricts Me From Being The Master
By Electric Six
McDonellllzz
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late night update madness!

In the delirium of non-sleep (the state of) I'm updating for the first time in forever

CHANGES/HAPPENINGS THAT COME TO MIND:
Haircut! Far shorter than one would expect as well; the only thing I enjoyed more than the look of shock upon the first notice of it was walking like a ghost through the school hallways, as few people recognized me immediately. Description wise, it's the haircut one would see atop a cute, Eurotrash head (not calling myself cute/Eurotrash). The fact that my sister's boyfriend was the impromptu barber only adds to my affection for it (and its slightly affected nature) (picture of it kind of)

Electric Six concert! "Totally rocking" does not even come close to the level of rocking I wish to convey (If only Nabokov were here to help me as truly his talents could go to no better use ("The rocking rolled over myself and the attendants in something that could not (shoud not) be called a wave; no it was rather like an avalanche, a mudslide-- a gritty something that dirtied us all and, though knocking us down, was the conceiver of the transcendental rebound to come.")) My ear plugs were used for the second opening act solely: an LA based band that wished to be Southern, and whose efforts were laughable (and my laughs were copious and unabashed).  The sole highlight was when their guitarist feigned a fit of passion and rammed himself into the amp, thusly disconnecting his guitar. Rather than plugging it back in he simply, calmly, walked off the stage to get a drink. The next few "What?" filled days were filled with partial regret (to match my partial deafness).


Am I the only one who uses the phrase, "sleepykins" to refer to tired people? Either way...I'm sleepykins. More tomorrow.

*edit* apparently not "more tomorrow" but more soon enough anyway. Though the only thing I have to add is how I like that exclamation points have taken the place of colons in the preceding paragraphs. Maybe more later?



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